Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Life goes on...

I've learned that even in those moments that I'm desperately trying to slam on the brakes, life (and time) doesn't stop for anybody. At this point, I'm just trying to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking. Okay...limping! Things aren't exactly getting back to normal, but they're getting back to something.

My relationship with K is incredibly bizarre at the moment. What he said to me the other day was said out of anger, and I understand that. While we are still sleeping in separate bedrooms, we have been visiting each other's bed the past couple of nights. It's such a strange thing. I love him so much, but neither of us are really sure that we should be together. We had a good talk last night, and I tried to explain to him that I understood his frustrations, but that I just couldn't deal with it right now. My head is barely above water, and it's not like I'm not thinking about where our marriage is headed, but I really just can. not. deal. with it right now. We've sort of fallen back into old habits. There have been many times that one or both of us really feels like it's time to let go of our relationship, and what usually happens is that we ended up clinging to each other more tightly than ever. I think that's where we're at right now. I guess therapy was a good thing, but it was ludicrous to think that three sessions were going to change this familiar circle we're in. I feel sad and unsure of what the future holds, but I do think everything will be okay, one way or another.

Okay, now for some fun stuff! My SIL took her boys and Ryann to get their pictures taken this weekend. Sort of a last minute thing, but I think they turned out really cute:

This is one taken sort of "in between" shots, but I love it:

My baby is growing up!!! =(

One of my girlfriends told me (after my Wednesday from hell) that God must have some really incredible things right around the corner for me, since I'm going through so much at the moment. It really helps me to believe that.


Margaret said...

Your friend is right!!!

Hugs to ya Jess... the offer to listen is always here!

Jessica said...

Thanks Margaret! I really appreciate it...hope the wedding is all coming together!! I know it's going to be beautiful!

lildb said...

a) your daughter is so beautiful, and b) geeeeeez. you've been through some things, girl.

but you've got that girl, and that's really something.

xoxoxoxo Debbie

Melissa said...

Hi there, I just came over to say thanks for the kind comment you left at my place!

Sounds like you're going through a rough patch right now - I'm so sorry. I hope things start to improve.

Your daughter is just lovely!

Jessica said...

Debbie and Melissa-Thank you thank you thank you! I may be biased, but I think she's gorgeous!!