Are you sure it's not a Monday?

So you know how you twist a wet towel to wring it out? Well, that's my stomach on Glucophage! Horrible cramps seem to be my only side effects, so that's encouraging.

Today was an emotional rollercoaster. This morning I found out that my company is switching insurance carriers effective at the end of next month. So immediately I go research to check out the fertility benefits. First, I'm thrilled because I saw something online that said that they covered IVF. I was cautiously optimistic. Okay, I lied...I was elated. I called K and we talked about how it was meant to be. Unfortunately, I was looking at the wrong state. Damn google and my impatient ass for hopping to conclusions. Turns out, they don't cover anything! Nada! As a matter of fact, when I called the new insurance carrier I was told that not only do they cover anything related to infertility, they also don't carry pregnancy. Come to think of it, she was pretty rude too! What is it with these people who work for insurance companies? I just don't get people being rude to me too often, as I'm a fairly friendly gal. It's actually a pet peeve of mine.

Anyway, back to the rollercoaster. So I get that nifty form letter from I can't remember where and essentially beg for mercy (and the purchase of an infertility rider) to my company's executive team. I got a prompt response that they had not planned on getting the fertility rider, but that he would check into the expense, discuss it with the executive team and get back with me with a decision. What more could I ask for? I actually got into a bit of trouble about it when I told my direct manager I had sent the email. She said I should've waited until they gave us the presentation about our insurance choices next week, and asked any questions about it at that point. The problem is, wouldn't it be too late by then? I don't regret it a bit, but I apologized to my manager anyway. I figure it's worth a try, no matter how much of a long shot it may be.

I'm wondering if I should go work for my husband's company. They pay for his insurance, but to add me it's $65-$75 a WEEK! It would be well worth it since they cover unlimited IVF's, so I guess we'll wait and see what happens. Seriously? More waiting? I'm just so bad at that!

Waiting sucks!

I'm ashamed of myself. I'm such a bad blogger. My blog is so new and already I'm neglecting it. This might give me some insight into why we've had three dead hermit crabs in the past three months. In my defense, there hasn't been a whole heckuvalot to tell. I did start my glucophage tonight, so I'm excited about that. It feels like a step in the right direction. Although, it will be bizarre to have a period every month, rather than three times a year. Right now I'm waiting for November to get on K's (how's that for a super cool blog name for hubs?) insurance so we can get rolling on IVF. That gives me three whole months to research and prepare.

I go back to my RE in two weeks and I plan on begging him to let us try IUI while I wait. I don't think he's gonna go for it, but I figure it's worth a shot. I just feel like I need to be doing SOMETHING! K doesn't understand why I feel it necessary to have everything planned out as far as our "treatment" goes. I'm not sure I do either, but I suspect it has something to do with feeling in control of a situation that is so out of control.

In other news, we're going to see my parents this weekend. V. excited about that. Am leaving daughter (Ryann) with them for two weeks. She'll love it. K will be out of town for work for most of that time too, so I will be all alone. Well not entirely, I'll have my shar pei, Yoda and the most resilient hermit crab ever, Coco (short for Chris Brown Orange-do not scoff-I did not name him!), here to keep me company. I suspect the blog will be updated a bit more frequently in their absence. My SIL still hasn't had her baby. She and one of my MANY pregnant coworkers saw each other at the dr's office today. It's hard to understand, much less articulate how I feel about friends/family who are pregnant. Even though it breaks my heart a little, I can still be happy for them. I feel guilty. Guilty b/c I'm jealous. Guilty b/c I already have a daughter. Just guilty in general.

Customer Service...ever hear of it?

I hate rude people. I had the misfortune of coming across one such person today. I'm going to call her Miss Too Bad So Sad. So I call the fertility desk at my insurance company to confirm that the information I was given yesterday (that they do in fact cover IVF) was true and to request that in writing for my doctor's office. Well they don't. Okay fine...as I said...my husband's does, and I guess I'll just have to work on that little patience issue while I wait for open enrollment. I was upset, but not devastated by the news. It did bother me that I was given the wrong information, but whatever...what's six months when you've been waiting four years? (Six months is too damn long is what it is, but I digress and that question was supposed to rhetorical!) So I'm wrapping up my lovely chat with Miss TBSS (in which I remained calm and polite and she remained an asshole) and I say, "Okay, well thank you." And. She. Hung. Up. Seriously?

P.S. Why am I such a parenthesis whore today?

Well hello there!

Welcome to my blog! I thought it apropos to begin today, after my first visit to an RE. I suppose I've been in denial long enough. Who me? Infertile? Well I can't deny it any longer, it's official, so I might as well try to deal with it constructively. I've been lurking around the blogosphere for the past month or two and have looked on with envy and admiration. So I'm bringing my toys, and I'd like to play too, if you don't mind.

Let me introduce myself. I'm Jessica. I'm from a tiny town in Texas, no really tiny, 1200 people tiny, but now I live in Houston. I feel like a bit of an imposter here, as I do have an 8 year old daughter...lovely and brilliant daughter at that. Hubs and I (note to self: find cool blog name for hubs) have been married for four years and haven't used any birth control. See how well that's working out for us? Yeah, not so much! Oh but my sister in law has gotten pregnant twice since we've been trying. As a matter of fact, my newest nephew should be born any day now. Actually, it seems like everyone I know is pregnant. Feel free to rub my head for luck and let me know how it works out for you!

As I said, I went to the RE today. I do feel good that we at least have a plan. Namely, IVF. But first, I must start the glucophage for my PCOS and wait a couple of months to get all regular. I've been on clomid off and on for the past year (now THAT'S been fun!), but my RE wants to skip all of those other fun options I had prepared myself for and go straight to the REALLY fun stuff since we suffer from male and female infertility.

As a side note, I had a mini breakdown of sorts when the financial lady at my clinic said that my insurance doesn't cover IVF. My husband's covers 100% and no limit on cycles, but unfortunately I'm not on his insurance. He could add me, but we'd have to wait for open enrollment. Now you don't know me just yet, but I'm not a fan of patience, even if it is a virtue. So I call my insurance company, who tells me that they DO cover IVF, but to call the infertility desk tomorrow as they've had a bad storm and are out of commission for today. So I'll definitely be letting you know how that goes.

So I'm very much looking forward to getting to know you and to shooting the shit...err...sharing this journey with you!