Thursday, June 14, 2007

It takes a village

The x-rays were normal. I'm cautiously optimistic. She's still having some pain in her back, but she's no longer in tears. That's got to be a good sign. She had decided at one point this week that she would prefer to have a different mother...preferrably one who would say, "To hell with doctor's orders, swim your little heart out, Princess. Don't forget to eat lots of candy, drink lots of coke, never brush your teeth and stay up all night watching cartoons or the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." She backed off on that sentiment, but only after she had sufficiently twisted the knife in my heart.

Isn't nine a little early to be doing the whole teen angst thing? It's scary to think of what might lie ahead in her teenage years. For me, the idea of her growing up in Houston (or any big city) scares the hell out of me. It just seems like there are so many bad things to get into. I know that she'll think we are strict and we'll try to balance that fine line of giving her enough space to grow without giving her enough rope to hang herself with. I grew up in a tiny town of 1200 people. I tell people that I graduated 3rd in my class, but I usually don't tell them that there were only 30 of us (although in fairness, the parents of the two girls who graduated ahead of me did alot of their projects for them. You don't read my blog, but if you ever know who you are, and you know it's true. I love you anyway! I also love my parents for making me so independent, but I was totally robbed!)

Anyway, my point was that I know how much mischief we got into growing up, and it was plenty. It seems like there are just so many more opportunities to mess up in a large city. I read about all of these scary things going on with kids in and out of school here, and it's just so outside the realm of my experience that I get overwhelmed thinking about it. I loved growing up in a small town. Everyone knows everyone and everyone looks out for everyone. You may have to endure vicious gossip, but you'll also never walk down the street without several cars asking if you need a ride. I love going back and seeing how all of the drivers wave to every. single. car. that passes. It's charming. When I was growing up there, I always fancied myself a big city girl trapped in the country. My, how things have changed! Even I can appreciate the irony.

I do love the city. I love having more choices than just Dairy Queen when I want to eat out. I love the diversity of Houston. I love Target and I love being an hour away from the beach (even if it is ONLY Galveston). But sometimes? I would love to pack Ryann up and raise her in my hometown. Things just seem simpler there. The biggest scandal at the school is that the cheerleading routine is a little too raunchy for the bible belt. All and all, it's a fun place to be a kid. You can play outside without worrying about strangers. There are no strangers. Ryann really loves it there. She'll be spending July with my parents and she'll be able to drive the golf cart around our dead end street and go play in the field behind the house. It's just a great place to grow up. Also? I really miss Allsup's burritos.


Margaret said...

It was soooooo great meeting you!!!!

min said...

Re: The post. Jessica you're a wonderful mother now and that's not going to change when Ry gets older. The middle years are coming up and they (for me) were the most challenging, but the most fun and exciting years of all! They go through amazing changes everyday. There will be moments of hated and attitude, but they are fleeting and your total love and devotion for your daughter will win out in the end.

RE: yesterday.
Whoo-hooo! I wish I'd gotten to talk to you more, but you guys were all huddled up talking about your fetishes and since I have none...
Just kidding. Can't wait til next time!

Jessica said...

It was such a pleasure to meet you guys!

Min-Thank you so much. That makes me feel better. I think I'll have to stop taking those fleeting moments so personally. I wish we had gotten to visit more, too, but I am really looking forward to the next time. I think what you are really trying to say is that you were too chicken to join in the fetish conversation. ;)